staying & moving

So tomorrow is the big day, & I don’t mean what one would normally mean when referring to “the big day”, we aren’t magically back together & getting married, quite the opposite in fact, tomorrow is the big day in that he moves out.

That’s right after a whirlwind 6 weeks of heartbreak, anger, hurt, sorrow, raging fury, depression, a river of tears, hatred & countless moments of gut wrenching agony, as of sometime tomorrow afternoon I will be officially alone.

Alone & living in a townhouse filled with memories of the guy I truly believed I was going to marry & who I loved with all the love I had in me, always have, always did, always will.

And everything finally caught up with me this morning, I was late for work because I could not stop crying, not just a few tears, but sitting on the bathroom floor uncontrollably sobbing my heart out, because it dawned on me that it’s over, like really over, like he is moving out in less than 24 hours over.

And if this morning is anything to go by, I hate to think what it’s going to be like tomorrow, when I actually have to do the one thing I thought I would never have to, & that’s say goodbye to him.

 

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5 thoughts on “staying & moving

  1. Wow, I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to come to terms with everything while you’re still in the same house together! Thinking of you, especially tomorrow.

    A good cry on the bathroom floor never hurt anyone, that and crying in the car are the most cathartic places to do so 😉

    • It certainly hasn’t been easy, I think it may actually have made it worse living in the same house after breaking up.

      Thanks for your thoughts tomorrow, i’ll need them 🙂

  2. I’m sorry that happened to you. There really aren’t any trite words that can take the pain away. But sometimes knowing that others feel similarly can bring some relief. My heart was recently broken, and it sometimes helps me to think about it in abstract terms, as “part of the human condition,” something that everyone goes through. It also is a weakness of mine, that I can suffer so greatly, feel so much pain, but I heard it said recently that a person’s greatest weakness can also be their biggest strength. So turning it into something good by writing about it is probably the best thing you can do. I hope you feel better soon.

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