a proper update

So I decided that it was about time I posted a proper update, mainly because I have been getting quite a few emails lately from people saying – hey your posts are awesome, but what the hell is going on with you? are you ok?

And yes I am ok, sort of, ok i’m not ok in the slightest, i’m more on the very slow road to ok, than at the ok stage right now.

In fact, if I am to be brutally honest, I have never been so un-ok in my life, even though if you saw me in person you would totally think wow she looks so put together & doesnt seem to have a care in the world, & boy oh boy how wrong you would be.

You see it’s all smoke & mirrors with me at the moment, I have developed this awesome facade of being able to laugh everything off, of having this cheery bubbly personality, & of keeping myself so busy that I have found myself double booking even triple booking my time, seriously my social life has exploded exponentially.

And you know that probably sounds like such a great thing, you know awesome job, awesome attitude, awesome social life, I mean really what more could a girl want?

And I must admit there are parts of my life that are great at the moment, but in saying that there are also parts that are so the opposite of great, like if I stop for one second & allow myself to think I burst into tears, I know I know, it has nearly been 3 months, you’d think I would be past that stage by now, well turns out im not.

But in saying all that, as much as I have the positive facade switched on, & as much as I am trying to keep myself busy, I am still suffering from depression, as much as it pains me to admit, I have been suffering since the beginning on the year, & well that alone is preventing me from having any real resounding success when it comes to my health & fitness.

And my health & fitness, how’s it going? Well it’s a bumpy twisty turny convoluted road. I have moments of motivated awesomeness, where I eat healthy & workout, but for the most part its nowhere near enough on either count.

But alas it’s not all doom & gloom, ok so it pretty much is, but not entirely, as I do have some good news. I measured myself today & it turns out I have lost 15cms (5.9in) from around my hips, so hey I guess something must be working!!



6 thoughts on “a proper update

  1. Having suffered from depression myself in the past, I’m sending so much love and support. I wish I could be there to just sit with you. Having a few solid friends who did that for me really saved me. Well, that and a great therapist, who was recommended to me by one of those friends.

    • I have a few great friends who have been super helpful, but I kinda feel that they dont “get it” entirely as they have never been through it, or wont admit that they have. It would have been lovely to sit down & talk through things with you, shame we are so far apart 😦

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