nature

Usually when I get home from work it’s already dark. So my nightly walk is usually one fraught with the dangers of tripping over cracks in the pavement & knife wielding murderers jumping out of the bushes to attack me. Ok slight exaggeration on that last one but my mind does have a tendency to think the worst when it’s dark & I’m out walking by myself.

Anyway tonight I got home from work early, it was still light so I decided to walk a different route, one that I don’t usually go because its isolated & always really dark. And I’m so glad I did because after a day stuck in a fluorescent lit office I stumbled across this:

And it may not seem like much, I mean it’s just some trees & a water feature, but to me it was so much more than that. Because if I wasn’t putting in the effort to lose weight & get fitter , I wouldn’t have been out walking & therefore I would never have seen it.

And I guess what it comes down to is that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life missing out on the little things like this because I’m too busy sitting in front of the tv stuffing my face with junk food.

forget how much it hurts

I need to keep reminding myself this everyday!!

In the past week I don’t think one day has gone by that I haven’t felt like throwing it all in because my body has been hurting/aching/in agony so damn much.

 

13th August

So in 30 days from tomorrow I will have completed the 30 day squat challenge. Notice how I didn’t include ‘hopefully’ in that sentence? Go me & the positive thinking!!

Today I was putting some thought into what reward I am going to give myself once I have finished, because we all need a little something more than just the sense of accomplishment.

And usually I would reward myself with something food related & well seeing as this is the new improving me I’ve decided that I’m going to reward myself with something more tangible instead.

I thought long & hard about what my first reward would be, it had to be something worth all the effort, & so I have decided on a gorgeous Samantha Wills ring called Show Your Heart.

Normally I wouldn’t think twice about just ordering this ring right now, but where’s the satisfaction in that? I’m going to buy it instead on the 13th August, so I can look at it, smile & have a constant reminder of how far I have come & how determined I was to deserve it.

carpe diem

baby steps

So last night on my now nightly walk I decided I would up the ante just a tad & try out this foreign movement called running. I lasted a whole 2 minutes, in fact i’m not sure it was even 2 minutes, it could have been 2 seconds, it felt like 2 hours.

For those of you that are overweight I’m sure you will understand when I say running is probably as difficult as trying to complete an obstacle course blindfolded with a broken leg & one arm tied behind your back.

Let’s just put it this way, in those whole 2 minutes of running I embarked on, not only did I feel (& most likely look) like an uncoordinated obese giraffe, but I also felt like a complete idiot.

And by idiot I mean how many runnners out there do you see not only holding onto their boobs for fear of knocking themselves out, but also panting so hard you’d think they were one breath away from collapsing to the ground in a tidal wave of blubber? None? Well clearly you weren’t in my neighbourhood last night.

And I hate to say it, especially after such a pitiful attempt, but I’m not sure if running is ever going to be for me. I like the idea of it, I just don’t like the feeling of so much fat moving around so independently from my frame.