Miracle Bikini Diet – 3 words that should not only never be used in a sentence together but should also not be published on the cover of a trashy magazine to boost sales by tricking consumers into thinking there is such a thing.
So this is the most current photo of me, it was taken on Sunday when I went back home to celebrate my 33rd birthday.
A few of my family members who haven’t seen me since May commented on how much weight I have lost. As in they were literally in shock at the amount of difference between now & then. And even though I don’t see it or really believe it, it’s always a lovely thing to hear, especially in my overly vunerable & emotionally unstable state.
Who would have guessed huh? That the most effective diet I have ever inadvertently done involved being dumped by the guy I thought I was going to marry, he who couldn’t even be bothered to send me a text on my birthday.
Turns out having your heart broken helps you not only lose faith that there are any decent men out there, but it also helps you lose weight as well.
I feel like i’m flailing, not failing because fail just isn’t in my vocabulary (how’s that for positivity!!), but flailing, you know like some kind of upside down turtle trashing about desperately trying to get back on my feet.
I’ve had a really lousy two weeks when it comes to eating & exercise. I’ve done way too much of one thing & not enough of the other. I’m pretty sure you can guess which is which.
And I was so filled with determination when I started all this, now i’m feeling, actually i’m not even sure exactly how i’m feeling, it’s kind of a cross between deflated and disheartened with a little bit of annoyance (at myself) thrown in for good measure.
It was so easy to revert back to my old habits, the very habits that got me into this state in the first place. And I know that they say that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, but what if I never make it to day 22, what happens if I only ever keep making it to day 10, relapse & then have to start all over again, like some kind of demented malfunctioning hamster wheel of fat & unhappiness.
I’ve started, that’s right people shout it from the rooftops, I HAVE STARTED!!!!!!
After countless failed attempts, a few half hearted attempts & a smattering of somewhat sort of successful attempts, I have finally started the long winding at times upside down rollercoaster called weight loss & health gain.
I know I was supposed to start a week ago, but obviously that soooooo totally didn’t happen. Somewhere in between copious amounts of chocolate & a couple of catered lunches at work I totally forgot that I was supposed to be starting anything.
But alas, I am back on track, which is quite hilarious when you consider that I actually managed to derail myself off the track before I had even officially started it.
I must say that I am quite excited by the fact that I have finally got things moving. Sure it has only been one day, but hey that’s one day more than the no days last week & the week before that & the months & years before that.
So this week to ensure that I don’t go all crazy like I usually do when I try to lose weight, you know like starve myself or consist only on cabbage & water or maple syrup & cayenne powder, this time I am instead taking the ease myself into it approach.
As in I will be decreasing the amount of food I eat, but not so much so that I pass out in my office from low blood sugar, i’m just decreasing the portion size ever so slightly. I’m also replacing most (not quite ready for all) of the chocolate in my life for fruit. Which seems to be working because i’m eating strawberries, apple & kiwi fruit as I type this & I actually feel good about it.
As for exercise, well I am aiming for at least 30 minutes a day for 5 days this week. Last night I walked around the block which took about 45 minutes, yay for me!! Tonight I play on doing one of my Zumba dvd’s, then doing the whole walking around the block / zumba on alternate nights.
So yeah it has been a long & arduous road to get to this point, & it has taken alot of failed attempts, alot of procrastinating, & alot of denial about how fat & unhealthy I actually am, but i’m here now & i’ve made the first step.
And so the journey from Kaftan to Bikini officially begins……………………………………